problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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