i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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