He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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