I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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