dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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