My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Say something about gay babies.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Randomize