I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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