i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
