Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I party with great urgency now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
