Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can text with my tongue
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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