I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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