There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
