Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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