arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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