Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
