Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
