I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize