batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
