At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
