At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
