About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
