yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize