I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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