I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
