Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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