would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize