butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
