drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
