You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
