Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
