This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize