You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
