i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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