The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
