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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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