how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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