I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
