so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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