He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
