i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
