its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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