On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
