WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
