Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize