She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
