I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
