I CAN MOONWALK!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
