we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
