lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
