All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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