Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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