Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
foreskin is a definite game changer
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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