Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
