It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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