The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You can't special order awesome
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will pee on everything he values.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
