Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How external is "for external use only"?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
