he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
