OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she woke up with a sticky ear
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
