i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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