there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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