I must be too annoying 4 u.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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