I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
