JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
