I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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