But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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